Nenu…Na paisachikatvam

Paisachikatvam aka Saddism.

Aha enta bagundi aa mata vinte. Enta true and genuine feeling idi.

Nijam ga cheppalante prati manishi tana manasulo dachukune genuine feeling ide anukunta. Ee paisachikatvam….Okka nimisham, prati sari paisachikatvam ane kante PKM ani short cut ni vadukundam.

So ee PKM mind lo trigger ainanta twaraga inkollaki help cheyyali, social responsibility lanti feelings avvavu. Avvavu anakodadu, avvakapovachu.

 

Osmosis – Naku gurtunnanata varaku PKM first trigger avvadaniki reason ayina science class adi. 9th class anukunta. Ma ManiRatnam sir ki ye topic ayina practical ga explain cheyyadam chala istam. So naku gurtunnanta varaku evo two different liquids ni teesuku vacharu, like oil and water. Osmosis ane process valla thickness takkuva vunna liquid thickness ekkuva vunna liquid rendu vidipotayi anukunta. Ayana rendu glassullo oil and water techukocharu. Nenu, na pakka Samrat gadu adi kobbari nune or vanta nune ani discuss chestunnam.

Ikkade meeko important character gurinchi cheppali. Vadi pere Gopi babu. Class first kadu gani, first three lone untadu. But edaina question adigite ventane answer cheppeyyadam, doubts adagadam lantivi chesevadu. Naku, ma Samrat gadiki assalu nachedi kadu.

So sir oil and water ni oka glass loki mellaga posaru. Vedu, sir spoon to kalapandi, spoon to kalapandi ani arichadu. ‘Veedu veedi over action’ annatlu venakki chusam memu.

Sir ki enduku mandindo teleedu gani, “Nuvvu book lo munde chadivesav kada, spoon to kalapakudadu ani. Enduku over action chestav. Musukuni cheppindi vinu” annaru

Nijam ga ippudu badestundemo gani. Appatlo nenu, Samrat gadu vadini ala tittarani musi musi navvulu navvukunnam. Na tala paina invisible ga rendu kommulu appude molichai. Alage Dracula la rendu koralu kuda notlo vachai.

13310260-Devils-horns-Stock-Vector-devil-horns.jpg

 

Porapatuna kuda ee PKM gurinchi evariki cheppakudadu. Cheppakudadu ane vishayam kuda 9th class lone telisindi.

Oka roju school lo madyahnam andaram bhojanam chestunnapudu Gopi babu topic vachindi. Vadu ma to bhojanam chese vadu kadu.

“Sir adigina anni answers vade cheptadu.” Ranganath annadu. Ranganath ma andariloki podugga undevadu. So gang leader ani feel aye vadu.

“Ha avunu. Naku full mandutundi.” Nalo dachukunna feeling mellaga bayataku vachindi.

“Ha avunu.” Samrat annadu.

“Question adigina ventane…thak ani cheyyi ettutadu.” Malli Ranganath annadu.

“Avunra babu.” Nenu andukunna, “ Vadu vadi over actionu. Naku emanipistundo telsa. Vadu cheppina answer tappu ayyi, sir vadini bayataku gentesi, neel down veyinchi…” Gattina navvutu cheppa.

But chuste evvaru navvatledu. Andaru na kesi serious ga chustunnaru.

“Asalu ala ela alochinchagalav ra nuvvu.” Ranganath gadannadu.

“Ante?”

“Tappu ra, inkokalla gurinchi eppudu ala tappu ga alochinchakudadu.” Ranganath gadu ‘nuvvu puruguvi’ annatlu chustu matladdam modalettadu.

“Nuvvu annav ga..” Nenu anna.

“Nenemanna. Annitiki vade answers cheptunnadu. Manam kuda cheppali andam anukunna. We have to take it in competitive spirit.”

“Ententi competitive?”

“Vadu manalanti manishe ra. Baga chadavadam vadi tappa?” Samrat gadannadu.

“Arei Samrat ga…nuvvu kuda” Naku peddaga dialogues levu.

“Vivekananda emannado telusa?” Ranganath annadu.

“Enti Gopi gadi gurincha…”

“Arei jokes kadu ra. Sumati satakam telsa ra neeku? Upakariki nopakaram..” Samrat gadu rechipoyadu.

“Arei nanna, babu. Tappaipoindra rei. Ippudu sumati setakam, Vemana padyalu enduku ra.”

“Ippatikaina maaru.” Ranganath gadannadu.

Aa pedda dose valla, naa meeda nake asahyam vesindi. Prapancham inta sasyasyamalam ga, swachamaina manasulato nindi unnappudu, nene chala tappuga alochistunna anukunna. Nake ilanti alochanalu enduku vastayo ardam kaledu. Hanuman chalisa daily chadavadam modaletta.

Vichitram entante ee PKM ni anagadokkadam ematram possible kadu. Enta try chesina kuda. And aa particular moment lo try cheyyali ani kuda anipinchadu.

 

Bachelor days lo okasari Mohan gadi spectacles kanipinchadam ledu maa room anta vetukutunnadu. Na adrustamo duradrustamo, adi naku ventane dorikindi. Almarah lo rendu moodu books unnai and vaati venakala undi.

Dorikina anandam lo venakki tirigite, Mohan gadu akkade unnadu.

“Arei nijam cheppu, nuvvu dachav kada. Daste ichei ra” Annadu. Specs icheddam ani appatidaka anukunna. But vadu nannu anumaninchi, avamaninchadu. Mellaga red color lo rendu kommulu molichai.

‘Tappu ra…papam ichei ra vadiki’ White dress lo unna Ranganath gadu pratyakshamai cheppadu. Kommulani cherapadaniki try kuda chesadu.

“Arei please ra. Nenu serious ga bayataku vellali. Teeste Ichei.” Mohan gadu annadu.

Dracula koralu bayataku vachai.

‘Upakariki nopakaaramu…’ Samrat gadi voice vinipinchindi. Vadu na koralanu cut cheyyalani try chesanu.

“Cheppara? Teesava leda?” Mohan gadu gattiga gadamayistu adigadu. Ranganath and Samrat mayamai poyaru.

“Nenu enduku Teesta be. Vetukko. Nenu kuda help chesta agu anna.”

Sare ani malli vetakadam modalettadu. Nenu kuda vetakutunnatlu start chesa. Na kommulu vadiki kanipistayemo ani oka pakka bhayapadutune.

Edaina vastuvu manaki ekkada undo telisina tarvata vetukadam or vetukutunnatlu act cheyyadam chala kastam. Nenu room lo atu itu vetikanu. Aa almarah deggaraku vachesariki matram…edo ala ala vetikanu anipinchanu.

Final ga vadiki oka gantannara taruvata dorikindi. And ee gantannara sepu na PKM baga satisfy ayyindi. Naanu anavasaranga enduku anali ani nannu nenu samardhinchukunna.

 

Naku telsi PKM rendu rakalu. Manalni evaraina hurt cheyyadam valla vache PKM and emi lekunda vurike vache PKM.

Emi lekunda enduku vastundi anukuntunnara, Gopi babu gadi case lo rale?

Inka cheppalante college days lo okadu cricket chala baga adatadu ani, Sixes ni chala easy ga kodatadu ani avatala team vaallandaru annaru. But first ball ke out ayyadu. Vadiki naku virodam ledu, parichayame ledu. But out ayina ventane edo chinna size PKM to koodina navvu vachindi.

 

And edaina small street lo naduchukuntu vellinappudu, edaina pedda vehicle vachi traffic jam ayite, andaru ala stuck avvadaani chusi, nenu bandi meeda lenu kabatti, PKM ane anandam vastundi. Vaallu stuck ayite nenu naduchukuntu vellipovachu kada. Itu side nundi inko pedda car vaste bagundu, atu side nundi tractor lantidedaina vaste bagundu ani kuda anukunta. Intalone white dress lo Ranganath gadu kanipistadu “Nuvvu marava ra inka. Aa traffic lo Ambulance undi, Ambulance lo pregnant lady unte evaru responsible” antademo.

Ambulance unte ala jaragalani evaru korukuntarra sami. Edo chiragga edava mohalato avasaram lekapoina horn kotte vallaki ila avvali ani korukuntam gani.

 

Ayina manchi tanam to nindipoyina ee prapanchamlo maruguna padutunna ee Paisachikatvaani kaapaadadam kuda na badyata gane feel avutunna.

 

Moral  – Moral emi ledu.

Rajkapoor smiled

Raj Kapoor. Raj Kapoor was his name.

The half torn shirt pocket was the immediate thing that caught my attention when I saw him for the first time; Hanging there harmless and of course, lifeless. I thought that it might be his favorite shirt, as he wore it more than thrice a week, and the pocket might be a part of that unique design. I didn’t want to think otherwise, knowing the fact that the shirt was twice his size.

And then it was his hair. It was always well combed and oiled.

 

Rajkapoor

He was different. Different for a seven year old kid. He did his work in silence unaffected by the fast paced world around him and that really impressed me.

I still remember the look on his face when he came to our home for the first time. He stood beside his father, Shankar, with his hands held behind his back. He observed the living room in silence and from that point onwards he became my favorite subject. The first thing that caught his attention was the Sofa – The three-seater leather sofa that was supposed to redefine luxury in our home and upsurge our serene seating experience. That’s what those well-dressed men said and enticed us when we went to purchase a sofa.  I wasn’t sure what they meant by serene seating experience. I didn’t care either. I just wanted it to be in our living room and Aditya had to agree. I was glad that that’s the first thing that caught Raj Kapoor’s attention. I tried reading Raj Kapoor’s mind. May be he wanted to experience the comfort. May be he just wanted to touch the soft cushion once. But there wasn’t a spasm of awe on his face. He casually averted his eyes from the serene seating experience, which hurt my feelings. He then looked at the Ravi Varma’s ‘Lady with a lamp’ painting on the wall. Aditya bought it as my birthday gift knowing the fact that I didn’t have a flair for paintings. It was a gift Aditya bought for himself on my birthday. The painting didn’t impress Raj Kapoor much, which made me happy as I imagined a solid punch over Aditya’s face. Raj Kapoor finally turned towards our one week old forty inch LED TV, which had the word ‘high’ before it’s every specification, including the price. We didn’t care as our six year old son, Ishaan loved it.

 

Allah’ Suddenly the ubiquitous call for evening prayer, from the Mosque in our street, spread the space. That made Raj Kapoor alert. He averted his eyes from the TV and started patting his father, trying to remind him of something. Shankar gestured him to wait, but Raj Kapoor was anxious.

“Ok sir ji, we will start work from tomorrow.” Shankar concluded his discussion with Aditya. Raj Kapoor picked up the bag and they immediately rushed outside.

It was Aditya’s idea to get the furnishing work done as soon as possible as he felt that the TV looked imperfect without the wall unit. I didn’t agree to the ridiculous motive he provided. So he baited me by saying that the plan was also to complete the long pending Kitchen wood work. And then I gave a nod.

We called Shankar, who was well known in our apartment for the quality and efficiency of his work. Raj Kapoor was Shankar’s son. At first it was hard for us to digest his distinct name. But slowly we got used to the peculiarity and Raj Kapoor reminded us of this short creature instead of a man holding an umbrella. May be it was his mother’s fondness towards that hero which gave him the name.

At first I thought that the kid was just there to watch his father work. But soon realized that I was wrong. He assisted his father in every possible manner. When Shankar asked for a particular tool, he immediately ran towards their tool bag and brought it to him. He did that several times a day without even a single whine. He broomed the room and collected the garbage from his father’s work every once in a while. I pitied him for the kind of work he was doing for his age. But Aditya said that the work earned them their daily bread and there was nothing to sympathize about him. May be he was right. But I didn’t like the sight of Ishaan playing with his iPad reclined on the sofa while Raj Kapoor, who was almost his age, was sweeping the floor beside him. I know that I couldn’t ask Raj Kapoor to sit on the sofa. I didn’t want to ask Ishaan to play with Raj Kapoor either.

They were two poles apart, separated by a deep gulf – An imaginary territory that Raj Kapoor built around his work area. He never crossed it. May be he felt home there. And Ishaan never had to enter Raj Kapoor’s zone. It was as if they had a mutual secret agreement.

I talked to him a couple of times to comfort him and that also helped me to know him better.

They lived in a remote village, Odhapur, which was thirty five kilometers from our city. Most of the village dwellers commuted to our place daily for work, since it was their main source of survival. There were just two buses running from our place to the village – One in the afternoon, the second and the last in the evening. Raj Kapoor somehow mapped the timing of his bus with the afternoon and evening prayer calls from the Mosque. He starts packing up his stuff in hurry as soon as he hears the sound. He said that they couldn’t afford missing the bus, which of course happened few days before. That day they had to wait almost till the midnight to find a goods vehicle that took them to their place. He said that it was a bad experience only because he had to wait till the midnight without dinner. Otherwise, it was the most comfortable trip when compared to the bus, which didn’t even provide him adequate space to stand. Every day he got squeezed to pulp by the fellow commuters.

It was September 12th, Ishaan’s birthday. We planned to celebrate it in a grand scale and we almost took a whole week to plan for the party. We invited almost everyone in the apartment for the evening party. My parents and in-laws were also present. On that day we decorated the living room with a lot of balloons. Since it was Saturday the attendance was huge, as expected. We asked Shankar not to come to work that day.  The Kitchen work was pending and it could wait.

Aditya brought a two layer black forest cake, Ishaan’s favorite flavor. Ishaan was dressed up in blue jeans and red hoodie. He was very particular about the hoodie and we had to search for more than three hours to find that. Everybody clapped as Ishaan entered the room. There were kids running all over the place, screaming, and we had to control them before he could cut the cake. Aditya was busy capturing every moment in his camera. Ishaan cut the cake while people sang the birthday song. Ishaan’s friends started smearing the cake on his face. He attacked them back. Soon Aditya joined the ritual and smeared the cake on his friends. The older generation didn’t like that. But they watched it silently. Aditya ran towards me with the cake and I escaped from him. The whole room was guffawing as he ran chasing me. I reached the main door of our flat and there stood Raj Kapoor. He didn’t have a clue what was happening inside our home.

“Tool bag,” He said pointing inside.

I could have called him for the party. But I didn’t. The very thought made me feel guilty. Hiding that, I allowed him inside. He quickly scurried inside, with his head down, and came back with his bag. Busy in celebrations, nobody observed him.

“You are working today?” I inquired.

He nodded.

He turned back to leave and I said, “Wait”.

I went inside the home and looked around. There was no cake. I could just find the remains of it on the table. I looked around and found it all over on the floor and on the faces. I looked around to find something. There had to be something to give him. And then I picked up a cookie packet from the cupboard and went outside.

“Today is Ishaan’s birthday,” I said and gave him. He calmly took it.

“When is yours?” I don’t know why I felt like asking the question.

“Tomorrow” He said.

“Oh” I stood there staring at him.

It was Sunday and they won’t come to work the next day. I thought for a moment and decided. I didn’t know if I was correct. I didn’t even think of checking with Aditya first. I just wanted to do it.

“I need you to come home tomorrow. I need your help in some work.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yes” I could read his expression. Before he could say no I continued, “Come in the afternoon. Ok?”

Unwillingly, he nodded and left the place disappointed.

 

I wanted to celebrate his birthday in our home. I didn’t know what kind of plans he had for the day. But I just wanted it to be different and memorable for him. That’s the least I could do. I asked him to come in the afternoon as it was Sunday and Aditya and Ishaan wouldn’t prefer to wake up early, especially after the tiresome party we had the day before.

 

########

 

The calling bell rang at 11’O clock the next day, when I was busy cooking in the kitchen. Aditya and Ishaan were still in the bed, as expected. So I opened the door.

It was Raj Kapoor, in the same old half torn pocket shirt. It is your birthday, Dammit! I thought. He came early and I was not prepared to receive him.

 

“I asked you to come in the afternoon, right?” I said in a voice little less to a shout.

“Yeah but..,” Raj Kapoor said in hesitation, “there was a goods vehicle coming here. So thought I could come early, complete the work and start by afternoon bus.”

I looked at the time. I just have an hour time.

I allowed him inside. My next task was to keep him engaged.

“Ok. I want you to pick up a cloth over there and dust all the vessels in this cupboard,” I ordered.

He looked at me without any expression on his face. Seriously? You called me on a Sunday which also happens to be my birthday, for this work?  He didn’t say it. But I could read that.

He immediately started the work and I rushed inside. I woke up Aditya and Ishaan, with some difficulty.

“What? Its Sunday right?” Aditya said, annoyed.

Ishaan got back to bed again.

“It’s Raj Kapoor’s birthday,” I knew that it wasn’t a great opening sentence and I sounded stupid.

“You are joking, right?” Aditya said as he hid face under the pillow.

“No I am serious. It’s his birthday. He is here.” I tried pulling his pillow.

“Oh is it?” he said staying in the same posture, “give him fifty rupees. “

“I wanted to celebrate his birthday here. I should have asked you before taking this decision but I didn’t have time…” I said in hesitation.

“You what? “ Aditya finally woke up and sat down. Ishaan too sat beside him rubbing his eyes.

“Just a small party. We will have a cake cutting and celebrate it. It will be memorable.” I tried to convince him.

“But why should we celebrate his birthday mom?” Ishaan inquired.

“Look Ishaan. He never celebrated his birthday till now. He doesn’t have money to buy a cake, new dress. We can do this. Let us surprise him and make him happy. Right?”

He thought for a moment.

“Right?” I asked him again.

“Let’s do it, then” He said and got down from his bed.

Aditya finally smiled at me and nodded.

They started refreshing as I went to check on Raj Kapoor.

“I am done,” He said and stood up. We just had another half an hour time for his afternoon bus. If he missed that, he would have to stay away from his home on his birthday and I would be responsible for that.

I looked around and found another cupboard filled with Ishaan’s toys. I am sorry Raj Kapoor, I thought. I asked him to dust them. He didn’t whimper at all as he started his work immediately.

Aditya and Ishaan rushed outside to the Bakery, which was just two streets away. I kept Raj Kapoor engaged while waiting for them. I didn’t want him to miss the bus, but it was worth trying to make him happy. I stared at Raj Kapoor, who was working in haste.

After fifteen minutes I called Aditya and he said that he was on the way back.

 

‘Allah’ it was from the Mosque.

Raj Kapoor immediately got up.

“I finished. Can I leave now please?” Raj Kapoor requested.

“Just wait for few minutes,” I said as I called Aditya. He didn’t pick up the call.

“But I finished my work.” He said innocently. I didn’t get the heart to assign him any other task.

“Yeah right,” I didn’t pay attention to him.

I went inside and tried calling Aditya thrice. But he didn’t pick it. So I came back and Raj Kapoor was still waiting for my response.

He asked me again, “I have to leave. If you have any other work, I will come early tomorrow. Please madam.”

I wanted to stop him. But I couldn’t. So he turned back to leave.

I called him on a purpose and I didn’t want it to go waste. I observed him carefully as he walked to the door. I knew that time was running out but suppressed the urge to check my watch. I took a deep breath and started counting in reverse under my breath. “Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five….”

 

Aditya and Ishaan arrived at the door, just as Raj Kapoor reached it.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY,” Both of them cheered as they entered the home. Aditya was carrying the cake and Ishaan had few balloons.

Raj Kapoor was stunned. He walked back towards the wall folding his hands.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAJ KAPOOR” Ishaan shook his hand with him.

Raj Kapoor understood. Raj Kapoor understood that it was his birthday cake.

He gazed at the cake which had his name on it. I was not sure if he could read that.

At last he looked at me and smiled.

Raj Kapoor smiled.

Paadalenu pallavaina

Hyderabad – 2013

“Anandam na na naa na…Anubhandam na na naa na…nana naana nana naana……tarvata lite ga guitar oo adedo piano tune vastundi…” Tune paadi vinipinchanu.

Ganapathi gadu alochistunnatlu oka fose ichadu. Mid night avvadam to Ganapathi vallintlo andaru padukunnaru.

“Emaina gurtochinda? Ekkadaina vinnatlu unda?” Nenu adiga.

“Anandam na na naa na annav kada?”

“Ya ya…..”

“lite ga guitar soundlu annav kada…”

“Ha…Neku telsa ee paata?”

“Nee bonda ra…Nee bonda…Ee dikkumalina paata kosam inka vetukutunnava nuvvu?”

“Endi be..Ninnu already adigesana?”

“5 years back…Chennai lo unnappudu oka rojanta vetikam youtube lo gurtuleda? Tokkalo gadivi…Anandam anubandam tappa emi teleedu…edaina ante na na naanaaaa antu padatav…Evadiki telustundi be adi..”

“Teliyaka pote uruko…Aa pata ni enduku tidatav” Telugulo ukrosham to, English lo frustrate ayyi akkadi nundi vellipoya.

 

untitled

 

Oka paata kosam nenu 10 years nundi vetukutunna. Oka netcafe lo na Engineering second year results chusukuntunnappudu, oka cabin lonchi vinpinchindi ee paata. Vinagane pattinchukoledu. But results baga vachayanna ananadam lo rojanta aa tune ee notlo naanindi.

But aa cinema ento, aa lyrics ento malli ekkada teliya ledu. But eppudu anandam vachina ee tune ee padukune vadini.

 

Kakinada  – 2004

“Asalu aa paata nijam ga undo ledo…” Sudhakar gadu annadu.

“Ledu be nijam ga undi…”

“May be na na naa lu ekkuva unnayani Ban chesesi untaru?” Abhinav gadannadu. Andaru gattiga navvaru.

“Nee bokka ra. Arei meeru alage jokulesukondi…but aa song ni mee andariki tappakunda vinipista. Chala super untundi ra adi. Baga melody annamata. Maddela soundlu guitar soundlu..Asalu vinagane meerandaru….”

 

 

Chennai lo  – 2008

“Ila vetakadam kastam gani na na na badulu edo oo lyrics petti padu…Kaneesam appudaina evarikaina gurtostundemo..” Naresh gadannadu. Chennai lo ratri current poindi. Aa vediki paduko leka andaram lechamu and ee discussion loki vellindi.

“Adi anta veezee kadehe…”

“Anandam nee peru.. Anubandham naa peru…” Ganapathi gadannadu. Ade paadadu.

“Saami aapu, nenu tune marchipoyela unna. Appudu paata dorikina nene gurtupattalenu” Nenannanu.

“Veedu happy ga unnapudu ee pata padadam entoo…Daani gurinchi night 2 ki manandaram ila vetakadam ento…”  Naresh gadu laptop lo inka vetukutunnadu.

“Arei paadina tarvata anandam vastunda…Anandam ga unte padatava?”  Ganapathi gadu.

 

Bangalore – 2010

“Arei Sound hound ani Mobile app okati undi…Nuvvu tune padite ee song oo cheptundi…”  Pramodh, na PG mate cheppadu.

“Nijama..Asalu technology enta improve avutondi. Nijam ga enni saukaryalu vachai ra babu…” Nenu annanu. Vadu app ni open chesadu.

 

This is the end, anukunna. Finally aa song ento telsukobotunna.

Ma room lo andaru silent ayyaru.

“Anandam na na naa na…Anubhandam na na naa na…..” gattiga padanu.

Searching for results……..

Oka 5 minutes tarvata – “Chinese monkey” ani vachindi.

“Endi be idi…”

Andaru okkasari navvaru, “China paata copy emo ra…”

“Arei telugu paata ra…”

“Chinese monkey anta…Inka nayam Japanese donkey analedu….Veedi paata akkada connect ayyindi….”

Andaru full ga navvukunnaru. May be joke na meede kada, naku peddaga navvu raledu.

“Tokkalo technology eellu….dabbulu dobbadanike ilanti apps tayaru chestunnaru…” Chivariki aa app developers kuda titlu tinnaru.

 

 

Tirupathi – 2014

Ok story climax ki vachesindi. So meeru already guess chesi untaru naku song ee movie lodo telsipoindani. Telsindi annadani kante telsina tarvata em jarigindi annade important.

Tirupathi velladaniki bus ekkanu. Na pakkana okayana kurchuni Newspaper chaduvutunnaru. Bus start avvatledani tega chirakesindi. Full ga vukkapota. Kitiki terichina upayogam ledu. Kallu musukunna oka ayidu nimishaalu. Bus start ayina sound vachindi. Na happiness share chesukundam ante pakkayana paper chaduvutu alage unnaru. Bus mellaga speed andukodam valla kitiki lonchi full gali vachi pranam lechochindi. Na pakkana kurchunna ayana paper egiripote bagundu ane saddist alochana kuda vachindi.

Aa anandam lo ‘ Anandam na na …..”  padadam modaletta mellaga.

“Em padutunnaru?” Na pakkayana paper madata petti annaru. Okka sari ulikkipaddanu.

“Aa edo…”

“Malli padandi…”

“Naku sarigga radu…” Actually evaro teliyani atani mundu padadaniki siggesindi.

“Kadu padandi..”

“Anandam na nana na….anubhandam…”

Ayana R.Nayana murthy la kallu peddavi chesi, “ Anandam ee bandham, Cheli andam suma gandham, Madhuchendam Makarandam…Madhura geeti neekosam …Madhumasapu darahaasam nee kosam..”

“Meeku telsa ee paata? Asalu Anubandham ane padame ledu ga. Naku chala istam ee pata…”

Ayana kallu musukuni navvutu, “Innallaki…innallaki….”

“Ennallaki? Emaindi?”

Ayana emotional ayyi, few minutes tarvata water taagi normal ayyaru. Ee hadavidilo asalu nenu emotional avvadame marchipoya.

 

“Ippudu cheppandi. Aa pata ee cinemalodi..”
“Karthik ani oka movie lodi tammudu aa song. “

“Oh nenu pere vinaledu…”  Annayya andam anukunna. But over avutundani anale.

“Na peru Srikanth. Aa pata padindi nene. Chala kastapadite vachindi opportunity. And chala istam ga padanu. Movie vachindi vellipoindi, evariki teliyakundane. And aa roju nundi vokkaraina paata bagundi ani antaremo anukunna. Not even a single appreciation. Innallaki na badha ku end vachindi…”

Vichitram ga anipinchindi naku. I thought it’s the end of my search but..

 

Prastutam –

 

Aa roju bus lo ayana, ade Srikanth annayya, nundi nenu paata details note chesukunna. Youtube lo kuda dorikindi, vichitram ga. Paata chala sarlu vinnanu. And mellaga apesanu vinadam. Paata bane undi, but anta kanna manchi patalu nenu chala ne vinna.

Naku mellaga ardamaindentante nenu paata kante kuda ‘evariki teliyani paata ni vetakadam’ ane concept ni ekkuva preminchanu.

 

Paata dorikeyyadam valla 10 years search end ayyindi. Oka bhayam karamaina blankness vachindi.

 

Malli vetakadaniki edokati dorakka potunda, ane asato untunnanu. Alchemist book lo konni lines ippudippude ardamautunnai.

 

 

Note –

Aa paata meeku vinalanipiste vinandi. Below is the youtube link.

The Supreme consciousness

con·scious·ness  (kŏn′shəs-nĭs)

1. The state or condition of being conscious.
2. A sense of one’s personal or collective identity, including the attitudes, beliefs, and sensitivities held by or considered characteristic of an individual or group.

3. Special awareness or sensitivity.
 
########

Vishwanath Mishra was about to complete his presentation on his recent thesis on ‘Neural complexities of Brain’ in MGR Medical college Chennai. He was one of the finest Neurologists in India and his lectures received great admiration from students as well as the Doctors all over the world. He did his doctorate from the University of Colorado, Denver in 1985 and his curiosity drifted him completely towards the research on neural science and its functionality. He submitted several papers on his research which were well received.

His presentation ended with a standing ovation, by few students.

While he was having lunch with the doctors discussing his work, he received a call from an unidentified number.

“Hello Mr. Mishra. There is a need for us to meet. The things are difficult to explain over the phone”

“I have to catch a flight in few minutes. Who is this? And how did you get my number?” Mishra replied in his stern voice.

“I am Paul D Frank. I work with the World Wide Web Consortium, as the chief architect. I came all the way from LA to meet you.”

Mishra didn’t know how he was related to the Internet. But he could guess that this was important. He finished his lunch and left for the place mentioned by Paul.

 

########

 

It was a small office and Paul was waiting for Mishra in a conference room. There was also a Japanese guy in the room scribbling some calculations on the papers, which were all over the table.

They stood up and smiled as Mishra entered the room.

“What do you want to discuss with me, a Doctor?” He miffed as he sat.

“Let me give you a background, quickly, of course.” Paul stood up and reached the board, “This is Haruko Obokata. You can call him Haruko.” He stood and shook his hand with Mishra, again.

Paul continued, “He is the director of the International consciousness project. You may be knowing that he served as the coordinator of experimental work in the Princeton Engineering Anomalies Research lab.”

“Oh ok” Mishra replied glibly. He didn’t even have a whiff of idea what that meant.

“Ok so what are here for?” Mishra posed the same question again.

“The Consciousness project…very top secret parapsychology experiment, privately funded.” Haruko explained. “This experiment started in 1998 and across 28 countries. Even in India we have a test center in Bombay.”

“I never heard of this. So what do you do?” Mishra said, still in confusion.

“Let me explain.” Paul continued, “Haruko and his team of over 1500 engineers analyze data coming from random number generators present in different test centers…you heard of them?”

“You mean…”

“In layman terms, computer software or program which will generate random number continuously. It doesn’t have any pattern. In real time these are used in lottery games…”

“Ok I got the point. But these guys are storing or analyzing or whatever….random numbers generated from the past 10 years?”

“Sixteen years…” Haruko replied.

“So what did you find? Or what did you want to find.”

“We believe that the random numbers generated are in some way related to human consciousness. “ Haruko said.

“Human consciousness?” Mishra said in a confused tone.

“Let me help you understand again,” Paul said, “they observe how the random numbers created behave during group events; something like, religious rituals for example Maha kumbh mela or Mega events like Football World cup or disasters like September 11.”

“Ok. So these guys analyze the random numbers…”

“During these events”, Haruko replied, “People react similarly, either positive or negative. And this similar behavior is human consciousness. During these events we observe that the data is less than random or predictable. “

“So the numbers are in some kind of sequence?”

“Yes and it is never supposed to happen. I think you got some idea. Right?” Paul said. Now the pages filled with numbers, on the table are making some sense to Mishra.

“I guess so. But…”

“Yes I will come to the point on why we are here. From the past 2 years, the sequence was trying to fall in line. I mean, it is gradually following a pattern.” Paul said.

“Yes irrespective of any major events,” Haruko intervened, “This started happening from 2012. Initially it took over 24 days to repeat a sequence. Then it got reduced to 12 days.”

“That means every 12 days it gives the same sequence.”

“In 12 days the generators produced over 10 Million numbers, continuously. On the thirteenth day it again starts from the first number generated on the first day and the same sequence continues giving the same 10 Million numbers.” Haruko mentioned.

“Yes he is right. Panic started building in them when eventually the 12 days was reduced to 6 and then 3 days. Now every day they are generating the same sequence.” Paul said.

 

images4FSDY2XP

 

Everyone remained silent, as he completed.

“So what does it mean? What is it to me? Isn’t it some software issue? Bring in your techies.” Mishra said.

“That’s when he contacted me,” Paul said, “As I already told you, I work with the World Wide Web Consortium. I geared up a secret team to research the same. They did their research in a week’s time. They checked the REGs and other systems. They didn’t have a clue what it meant. The REGs, Random generators, are always supposed to be unpredictable. I had to pitch in and do a lot of research myself. I read a lot of books. It took a few days for me to realize that the technical books wouldn’t help me. So I moved to the pseudo-scientific books. That’s when I came across your book ‘The complexity in consciousness’, which was presented to me by my Indian friend. I know it’s not exactly a pseudo-science book, but it grabbed my attention. Do you remember what you mentioned about consciousness?”

“Well! Consciousness is always my subject of interest. Consciousness is the state of being awake. It is the knowledge that we exist. None of the scientists or doctors, till date, were able to figure out what makes the matter in the brain consciousness. We don’t even know if we will ever be able to find it.”

“Yes, Perfect,” Paul responded, “And about the circuit.”

“Yeah and I mentioned that brain is made up of the most complex connections; Connections in which millions of neurons are interconnected. I believe this circuit is the consciousness. The secret lies in this circuit. It will take countless years or even centuries for us to understand the circuit. I just wish there comes a day when we are able to replicate the circuit and bring consciousness to an object. I wish it happens during my life time.” Mishra took a deep breath and the room remained silent.

“The circuit was replicated.” Haruko said.

“What do you mean? Do you even have an idea how complex it is?”

“Well no one knows. It is almost, the entire human race who contributed to this circuit.” Paul replied.

Mishra propped up from his chair and asked, “Can you be more specific.”

“The internet.” Haruko replied.

Mishra looked at them.

“Yes Mr. Mishra. This may change things in a big way. Internet gradually turned conscious. The network that connects all the systems, servers, laptops, mobile phones, Ipods or whatever, it turned out to be the most complex circuit; The circuit similar to our brain.”

It was difficult for someone to digest such an irrational idea. Even for Mishra, who sacrificed many of his years to research on consciousness and how neural system is related to it.

“Just give me a minute. “ Mishra took a glass of water.

“Just relax. We know how you feel now.” Paul said.

“No this is a scary thought. So you mean internet knows that it exists? It is no more an object.”

“Yes. It can’t see, hear. But it started feeling, may be gradually from the past 2 years. It knows what’s happening. It feels happy, sad…I don’t know. You are the consciousness expert.” Paul said.

“Will you just stop it?” Mishra said, exasperated. “We don’t even know if it’s true. We don’t even…”

“Let me confirm it. Only we two knew about it till yesterday. I thought of sending a mail to my director, John Goldman, who is in Geneva. But my mail remained in the drafts. I was unable to send a mail to anyone. I just thought my internet stopped working. The next day, which was last week, the password of all my email IDs got changed automatically. I was unable to access any data. Even the data I stored in my private cloud got deleted. It happened to Haruko, as well. Internet knows that we are awake of her consciousness.”

Mishra looked at Haruko, who nodded in response.

“I am still unable to believe whatever you say. If this is true, if internet becomes alive, what will be the consequence?”

“You tell me. It knows everything, history to geography. It knows the personal information of every individual on earth, of course who are online, all the bank details. It knows the passwords, secrets, every conversation that happened.”

“Earth will be like a small bug stuck in the spider web.” Haruko said.

Mishra’s phone made a message beep and he quickly checked the mail.

“Just a moment, I got a mail from…”

“No…Don’t open.” Paul exclaimed.

It was too late as Mishra already opened his mail box. Immediately, all his mails started disappearing; He tried to stop it but with no luck. The mailbox automatically got logged off and password changed. Everything happened in front of his eyes.

“What the….what the hell has just happened?” Mishra mumbled.

“You know the truth. So it started attacking you directly.”

Finally Mishra understood the seriousness.

“So what do we do now? And what can I help you with?”

“Things are going to get worse”, Haruko said,” Today morning I checked the reports from REGs. The sequence is repeating for every 12 hours now. “

“And gradually it will drop to 6 hours…3 hours” Paul said.

“And finally one minute…” Haruko said anxiously.

“The count will become equal to our rate of heart beat per minute – 60 to 80 numbers per minute. And repeating the same. That means it is as conscious as a human being.” Paul mentioned.

“And you know how dangerous we are. And so how dangerous it can turn out to be.” Haruko said.

“We want your help in making it unconscious again. How do you make a brain unconscious? How to change the circuit? ” Paul said.

 

########

 

In the next few weeks, Paul, Mishra and Haruko spent endless hours analyzing the nodal structure of the internet and comparing it with the nervous system of the brain.

 

They were unable to find what needs to be done.

 

After a month, Mishra concluded one day, “Internet is a continuously altering circuit. All we have to do…or all we can do is wait. Wait for it to change to something more complex, which may dissolve it’s liveliness.”

 

########

 

 

And so the secret team is still waiting for this to happen. This secret kept among themselves.

 

The next time if something unusual happens while you are browsing the net, it may not just be a coincidence.

 

Remember ! There is a supreme consciousness which we never know exits.

 

 

The story which never began

 

                                     We stood on the terrace looking at a lavish apartment with their spacious balconies facing us. It was ten storied, I guess. Sridhar was about to say something when a small girl opened the door of the seventh floor, came out and stood in her balcony. I can vaguely see her.

“You know what?” I said.

Sridhar didn’t hear me.

“I think some 15..20 years ago I got this dream.” I squinted at her.

“Which dream?” Sridhar looked at me and found that I was looking at the girl.

“I was standing in some place similar to this..May be a terrace. There was a big apartment similar to this opposite to me. And finally a small girl comes out and stands…”

He just looked at me, expressionless.

“So you know what happened next?” He inquired.

“She looks at me…” I said.

Both of us squinted at her.

“We can’t be sure of that, buddy. I don’t even see her clearly.”

“And then she waves at us..”I said.

“I think you are the complan’s memory booster. You remember your 20 year old dream?” He laughed at me.

And then it happened. She waved at us.

Sridhar looked at me expressionless again. May be that’s his surprise face.

“Déjà vu?” He said, “What next? Will we wave back? I mean in your dream did we..”

I thought for a moment. I thought of waving back. But I was unable to lift my hand. My hand didn’t move..why? I looked down.

 

                                    The alarm hit me hard with its obnoxious beep.

 

“Ah dream?” I checked my mobile phone to find a message from Sridhar – ‘Will b waiting 4 u. Come bfr 9’

“I don’t know what this guy is doing in my dream.” I thought.

It’s 9 AM and we met on my terrace.

“You know what? You gave a guest appearance in my dream.” Those were not my words. Sridhar said as he moved towards the edge of the terrace.

“So you too had a dream?” I reached him.

“I think that’s the apartment.” He spotted one of the apartments and concluded.

“Tell me. What exactly happened?” My voice was little less to a shout. He was surprised.

“Ah…I mean I saw a little girl coming out of the balcony. You said you already knew that since you had a dream…Some 20 years ago.”

“That’s the exact dream…”

“Look…” He screamed with his hand pointing towards the balcony. A small girl came outside.

We both looked at each other in awe. He put his hands on his head and starting moving to and fro. I stood there dumbstruck.

“Is she going to wave? Is she going to wave…?” Sridhar said anxious.

“Relax. Don’t create a scene here…” I said.

We both stood there looking at her. After few moments she raised her hand and…

 

                                   I woke up and looked at the alarm.

 

“Dream…” I felt very tired; As if I had a bottle of vodka without sprite.

“I never had a friend with the name Sridhar…” I smiled at the dream.

I came out and stood in my balcony.

“Look” I heard two guys speaking loud, on a terrace in a house beside the apartment, and one of the guys pointed towards me.

“What the hell

I looked at myself. No, I am not a little girl.

One of the guys started moving to and fro with his hands on his head. After a moment, they calmed down and looked at me.

I slowly raised my hand to wave.

                                                                I heard an obnoxious beep.

In pursuit of happiness

‘May be compromise should be labeled as the synonym of Life.’

I looked at my phone and the Facebook status again.

Mohiddin, my best friend, put it few minutes ago. “Yipee…off to Europe trip”. I don’t know why I didnt like it yet. Ofcourse, I am happy for him. Really! At least he is enjoying this compromise without life.

I stood on my balcony as the thoughts started burning me; gradually, of course. I was surrounded by several apartments at different stages of their construction. I just possessed that new flat, which was the only completed project in the locality.

I saw kids on the road, with their double XL bags, darting towards their homes. Kids of the same ago were still working in the construction sites.

‘They should even change the oxford dictionary and thesaurus or whatever.’ My distress was accompanied by the jingles played by the driller machine, hammer and the other mess the workers are providing for free.

‘World tour remains a dream, with 80 % of my salary going towards the home loan black hole. It’s ridiculous that I will have to pay half of my life to stay in a box of … ; There is only one life and we should enjoy it to the fullest. These are the brainless golden words which apply only to a few …’

Just then a black Porsche halted before my apartment. I saw it couple of times over here, it was my apartment owner’s car. ‘It might cost 40 to 50 Lakh’ I started calculating the EMI I need to pay to possess this black beauty.

He might have come to settle down few things in here. He always will be in whites, with three to four gold chains hanging around his neck; Proud of their owner.

Just when he went inside, I saw a lanky worker from the opposite construction site creeping towards the car, carefully observing his surroundings. He didn’t notice me standing in the balcony of the fourth floor above him. He was followed by another worker; equally lanky. As he reached the car, the panic which spread all over his face appeared clear to me. I quickly switched on the camera on my mobile. I can now catch him red handed if he does some mischief.

He suddenly scampered, followed by the other worker, back to his construction site. The owner came back towards the car, opened the door and took few documents from a suit case which was in the back seat of the car. I saw that the two lanky workers were observing this from a distance. I kept my camera on still. I suspected that it was more than a mischief they were planning. May be it has to do with the suitcase.

They slowly crawled towards the car again after the owner went inside. They whispered something to each other looking at the other side of the road. I quickly looked at the other end of the road to find an elder worker, probably their team lead. So they hurried towards the car, probably before anyone reaches the place. My camera was still on.

The lanky worker quickly stood beside the car, his friend kept some distance from him.

“Fast…He might come any minute.” The lanky worker said.

The other worker quickly took something from his pocket. I had to squint to find that it was a very old Nokia mobile, which were extinct these days. The lanky worker stood beside the car with a smile on his face. The other worker looked through the view point of his antique mobile and took few snaps. The lanky worker stood in few different postures beside the car; Holding the door with one hand and waving his other hand was my favorite. My camera was still on.

Just then the owner came out yelling at them. They ran towards their construction site, not bothering about his swear words. They reached their construction site; they fell down, guffawed looking at the picture. I never saw anything closer to these happy faces.

Don’t know why but I couldn’t stop smiling and feeling happy. Just a photo in something close to 1.3 Mega pixel camera.

 

Smiling workers, Delhi India, Chandni Chowk market

I switched off the camera, opened the facebook and commented on Mohiddin’s status.

‘Enjoy buddy…. Say hello to Eifel tower..”

The Raman effect – Short film

 

 

Raman effect …when light passes through a transparent medium, it creates different light rays…here transparent medium is RGV…when we disturb it…it creates different light rays…one ray went to laptop on stool and another to TV…Raman effect🙂